Alright, Alright... it's been a month, I might as well update.

Well, my life is still one dismal, financial mess...
But I'm done working at the theatre, so there's one upside.

My computer is being abnormally slow lately, which makes me want to throw it against something hard, but I'm sure that will solve nothing.

Okay, so, whiney time....
Ready?!


I honestly feel super alone right now.
Like, not the "omg I need a guy in my life like rite now" kind of lonely... but the "yeah, I know I've got friends and all, but I just feel like I'm being left out all of the time, and I work too much to have a social life, or a love life, and I'm awkward and I really hope this isn't going to be my life for the rest of my life, and can I go back to England, PLEASE?!" kind of lonely.

I'm sure that makes sense to a lot of people.

I was looking at old England pictures just recently, because I miss it, and it wasn't a good idea.
It made me miss it like a thousand times more, and then kick myself because I can't afford to go.
I hate. my. life.

Okay, I don't.... but still.
I miss it.
It's like the longest homesickness spell ever, and it doesn't even make sense, since I starved, lost one of my closest friends, became socially awkward to the point where it took me 3 weeks to say hello to my housemates, lost all confidence in myself, cried almost every night, and never got a job.
It honestly doesn't make sense at all.
But, not everything in life makes sense, I guess.

I'm really excited about moving up in Starbucks... like, I don't know, sometimes I think "wow, Kaylee, do you really wanna be working for Starbucks for the rest of your life? Gee... what a go-getter you are..."
But then I really think about it, and, it's really not so bad. Like, the benefits are awesome, you get to meet so many new and interesting people, you are paid to socialize with your customers, and you get free beverages.
Health care is sweet too, and you get stock options.
So it wouldn't be such a bad place to be for the long haul.

But, meh, I dunno, we'll see what life brings.
Maybe sometime in the future, I can get transferred to England ;)

My 20th birthday is this month.
I am excited, yet I want to cry.
I'm saying goodbye to my teen years.
Soon I'll have to start acting responsible... and going to do adult-y things...
Yeah, who am I kidding... I can't be an adult, doing adult-y things.... I'll just be immature all my life.
I hope some guy finds that hot.
Also, I hope he's still okay with waiting until marriage for sex, even if we're like 35.
LOL

God, I pray that I will not be an old cat lady.
That would just suck.

I know... I just KNOW, I am going to look back on this entry like... a year from now.. hell, even 6 months from now, and think I was such an idiot for writing it.
But oh well.
I'm writing what's on my mind, I guess.

And everyone gets to read it, too.
And see what a complete tool I am.

It's 8:30... and I have to be up at 3 am.
I should probably sleep, but I feel like I should write more. I feel like there is so much to say.
But when I go to say it, my fingers freeze, and I don't know what to type.

Bleh... I don't know... ugh.

Somebody recommend me some good books. I've been reading really bad teen books for too long. Seriously, it embarrasses me, even when no one knows.
I need some good literature.
Something so good, I won't care if Bob McHotty sees me reading it on the train.

Holy crap, I have to stop talking about guys... I sound like a desperate weirdo.

But at least it's not visible to the world, and I don't jump the first attractive guy I see. I just think to myself "Oh boy, he is mighty fine. Too bad there would never be a chance of that happening in a million years..."
And then I move on.

Why am I writing this?
And better yet, why will I publish it. It's nonsense.

Nobody wants to read that, it's awkward and weird.

Sorry for putting you through that, readers.

I'm not actually as desperate as I come off.

I promise.

LOLOL.

Okay, seriously though... sorry.
I've made myself sound like a complete buffoon.

I think it's because I ran out of things to type, so I just went with an embarrassing subject, and kept going. hahahahaha

That's a sign that I need to sleep...
So I will.
And then in the morning, I'll wonder why I published such garbage, but still leave it up, because I get some sort of sick satisfaction out of other people reading my quirky and embarrassing thoughts.

Goodnight blogreaders