What's on my mind?

I'll tell you what's on my mind.

I remember listening to a song, loving it, while it broke my heart, because every word that was sung, was exactly how I felt.

Heartbreaking tone, honest, heart-bearing lyrics.

Something I wish I could just tell the person I felt that way about.

I listen to this song, and almost have a nostalgia about how it made me feel. I don't have that feeling anymore. I found something better, someone better. Someone more perfect for me. It's made this song lose the gut-wrenching feeling. In a way, it makes me happy. To listen to the song, knowing that I don't have to wish for it anymore, because I have it.

Also though, when listening to this song, I feel anger.
I feel anger that I let this person get to me. I get angry that I let them into my heart. I feel stupid that I opened myself up to them, only to have it shoot back in my face.
I feel a little bit embarrassed, I suppose.

I suppose what's on my mind is...
It's quite strange that a song could have one affect on you when you first hear it, but turn your life around into a whole new scenario, and it completely changes the way it makes you feel when you listen to it.


All I know is that you're so nice.
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go.
See if we could be something.

And Brent, I'm so glad I'm your favourite girl.

Out of all the pictures, this one gives me the most happiness, and sadness at the same time.

It's funny how things can change, yet completely stay the same.

Here I am. Sitting in the Starbucks I worked in for a year.
Everything looks the same. The same customers. The same long line-up, with the same regulars.
Most of the staff has changed, and only a few good ones are left.

It's odd to see the customers that I remember, and can probably remember most of their drinks, but they wouldn't be able to remember me, even though I served them every day for a year.
A few "you look familiar..." stares, but nothing more.

It kind of makes me sad. I mean, I befriended these customers, and they have no idea that I actually looked forward to seeing some of them in the morning. They have completely forgotten me. But, really, who would remember their barista?
I guess I'm a little more sensitive about it, because at my new location, I can barely remember any of my regulars. Because they don't expect me to. They don't make themselves memorable. They don't establish a relationship.
I miss that.
Crazy, I know.

Jen's still a bitch, TJ still hates his job, and Matt still doesn't care.
Luckily, Jen's trapped here, because she's too lazy and full of anger to find a new job, TJ's getting out of this hellhole. and, well, Matt still doesn't care.

Beyond that, the atmosphere has changed. I don't get the feeling that the customers feel relaxed. Although, by the time I was leaving, that had already started.

One thing is for sure... I would never want to work here again, but if I could take all my favourite regulars and put them at my Starbucks, I might actually want to go to work every day.
Right now, I'm on the brink of leaving.
But, no complaining about my store in this entry.
Just observations about the old one.

I like that they still have the calling system implemented.
Not many stores do. Including the one I'm at.
It really brings the 'Starbucks' sense to things. I actually miss calling drinks out. Is that odd? Yeah, that's odd.

I like that no one has come to say hi to me. I actually do. It lets me stay unnoticed for a moment. It lets me observe without interruption, or feel like people are wondering what my motives are. Although there are none, I don't like the speculation.
I am creepy.
Hah.

I should probably post this now. Richard shall be down any moment. Hope it's been an interesting update, at the very least. Even though it's less about my life, and more about the 'right now'.

We are very busy people

Well, you may as well call me a liar... Or a promise-breaker.
Because I am clearly not good on my word about updating more often.
I'm not even going to bother apologizing! Not just because it would be meaningless to you, but also because, most of my readers have stopped reading, so I'd probably just be apologizing to no one, and what good is that?

Where shall I start?
ohhhhh boy oh boy.
I started at my new store on September 6th, and it's been nightmarish ever since.
I shouldn't say that, really. It's just been hard. It's not a busy store, compared to the old one, but there are just so many new people, that a day without frustration is actually impossible to come by.
Put that with my boss who can never be happy with anything, and it's just wonderful! Although, I'd take her over Scott any day.
It's just really making me re-think this whole thing I guess.
Sometimes I just feel so stuck. I feel like I'm not growing, or learning anything, but I'm expected to know it all and be fully trained in this brand new position. It makes no sense to me.

Maybe it'll just click one of these days. Maybe I'll just know. Or maybe I'll sink, and get demoted, or quit.
Stay positive, Kaylee!

I really want to write more, and update on my life, if not for you guys, but for me to look back on later in life. The problem is, I have such a huge headache, and the light of the computer screen is not helping me.

So let's do this fast..
Cutesy romantic stuff, GO!;
I'm falling for Brent more and more each day, and it scares the shit out of me, but it's also the most amazing feeling in the world. This is my man, and I'm his lucky lady. I don't know why he's crazy enough to stay with me, but I'm not giving him up for the world.

Friends, GO!;
I miss Sasha, and I miss Greco.
Sasha and I were supposed to skype it up tonight, but she never texted me. She probs forgot about our date. I forgive her.
I haven't heard much from Greco, but I know she kisses my picture every night before going to bed, because she's a big lesbo like that.
And I realised I really don't keep in contact with my in-city friends that much. Sorry bros. I work 40 hours a week, and have become a stereotypical girlfriend. I suck, I know.

Okay, I really can't do much past that, this headache is killing me. I'm not going to promise anything, but I will try to update soon. Maybe even this week! But no more promises, we all know I can't keep them.

Mother, we just can't get enough.

I don't know what's making people act so strange lately, but I hate it.

Most of them are people I work with, and enjoyed working with, but not so much anymore. It's okay though, because after today, I only have 2 more shifts left, and then I start at my new store on Tuesday!
How exciting is that?!

Something un-exciting and poopy; Sasha leaves this weekend.
What a poo head.

Uh, Greco, and Sasha - Who needs school?!
That's just silly. Stay in this happy-sucking city with me forever plz.

I need good stories to tell, my blog has been lacking lately.
SORRY.
I will write something when it's not 3-something in the morning, and I have more time =)

We should get jerseys, because we make a good team

Okay, so I officially suck at updating, don't I? I kind of left you on a cliffhanger there.

First interview went wonderfully, and so did the second!
I was actually less nervous for the second, even though it was probably a bigger deal.

Anyways, I will be starting in my new store on the 6th, and I'm so excited to start! I'm so excited to leave my store. I think I actually hate it there.
My boss is just... too much lately.
But only 2 more weeks! How amazing is that?
And the new store is MUCH closer to home, which is great.

Things with the boy are just amazing. I sometimes think he's crazy for wanting to be with me, but I appreciate, and love every moment we have together. I am falling for this one, and even though it's scary, it's also the best feeling ever.
We are the most nauseating couple ever, and I love it!

My Greco left yesterday to go back to school in Edmonton. What a wench.
We had the best weekend ever last week though. We rented motor-scooters, and went on a picnic. We also almost got hit by so many people. Most drivers hated us. But it was still great.

In even more awesome news;
IT'S TAMRA AND RICHARD'S WEDDING DAY!
Congratulations, you guys. It's going to be great.
And Tamra, you won't die. Or fall. Or fail. Because whatever happens, it doesn't matter, it's your wedding day. The day to finally marry the love of your life is here. That's all that matters. =)

I'm so heavy in your arms

Okay.
I'm freaking out.

My first interview for ASM is tomorrow, and I'm scared.
What if I just go in there looking like an idiot?
What if I blank under pressure?
WHAT IF I'M JUST GENUINELY UNPREPARED?!
Oh dear.

I'm not ready for this.
I mean, I know it's just Starbucks to some people.
But this is what I do. And I need this promotion. I'm scared that if I don't get it, my debt is just going to get worse.
I need the money.
And I'm not going for the job just because of the money. I really do enjoy my job, and I'd like to move up.
I'm panicking. I hate this.
God, help me with this.

I'm going to be great, right?
And I'll get a second interview, right?
And then I'll get a promotion... right?
And in a perfect world, I'll be moved closer to home, right?!

agh.

Ummm... happier topics...
uhhh...
I really really really like my man.
That's good, right?
I mean, I sometimes get scared that it's all too good to be real, and it's all going to come crashing down. And then I remember that he's a good guy. The others weren't. It will be okay. It will be great.
I could write about him all day, but that would be weird. All I will say is, he makes me happy. So very happy.

Oh, wow. Writing that actually did take my mind off of the worry for a bit.
That was nice.
Anyways, time to sleep, I think.

Wish me luck!