I'm so heavy in your arms

Okay.
I'm freaking out.

My first interview for ASM is tomorrow, and I'm scared.
What if I just go in there looking like an idiot?
What if I blank under pressure?
WHAT IF I'M JUST GENUINELY UNPREPARED?!
Oh dear.

I'm not ready for this.
I mean, I know it's just Starbucks to some people.
But this is what I do. And I need this promotion. I'm scared that if I don't get it, my debt is just going to get worse.
I need the money.
And I'm not going for the job just because of the money. I really do enjoy my job, and I'd like to move up.
I'm panicking. I hate this.
God, help me with this.

I'm going to be great, right?
And I'll get a second interview, right?
And then I'll get a promotion... right?
And in a perfect world, I'll be moved closer to home, right?!

agh.

Ummm... happier topics...
uhhh...
I really really really like my man.
That's good, right?
I mean, I sometimes get scared that it's all too good to be real, and it's all going to come crashing down. And then I remember that he's a good guy. The others weren't. It will be okay. It will be great.
I could write about him all day, but that would be weird. All I will say is, he makes me happy. So very happy.

Oh, wow. Writing that actually did take my mind off of the worry for a bit.
That was nice.
Anyways, time to sleep, I think.

Wish me luck!

Forget the protocol, I'll take your hand, right in mine

Wanna know what's the worst? (okay, obviously not the worst, but w/e...)

When you see something, and it inspires you to write it down right then, and capture your thoughts, and you just know you shouldn't let this moment pass you by...AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WRITE IT DOWN WITH.

Definitely happened to me today.

While on my way home today, sitting on the gross, stuffy, over-crowded, smelly- okay, enough adjectives, i think you guys get the point - C-Train, I had the inspiration to write about what I saw, what I was feeling. I wanted to describe people-watching through my eyes. Write my judgemental thoughts down, etc, etc.

AND NOW I CAN'T WRITE IT DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S NOT IN THE MOMENT, AND I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THE SWEET WITTY THINGS I THOUGHT, AND IT'S JUST NOT AS GOOD.
/angstangstangst.
o well.
I guess this was a lesson to always carry a pen with me. That way, if I don't have something to write, I can at least pull a Rachel McAdams in Red Eye if I ever get attacked. If you don't get that, google that shit. I'm not going to explain.

Another thing that frustrates me...
MY COMPUTER.
Bobert-Downey Jr is not what he used to be, and it's upsetting. He's slow and a big pile of poo. In fact, I cannot currently see the sentence I'm typing and by the time I'm finished, I'll still have to wait another 5 seconds before I can see the finished product.

I should just start hand-writing my blogs, and then scanning them. It'll probably be less of a hassle, and then you guys can judge me on my penmanship! How exciting!

Anyways, time to stop talking about the bad, and bring in the Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Story 1#
I SAW OK GO GO. LIVE. IT WAS AWESOME!
They put on a really great show, and you can tell that they really love their fans. It's amazing. This isn't really a story, but a statement I suppose.

Also, because I said I would:
Thank you Nele, Alyssa, Alyssa, Sasha, Myles, Richard, and Brent for making it an awesome day.

Story #2
I SAW MARIANA'S TRENCH LIVE. KINDA!
I saw 'kinda' because some asshole decided to stand right in front of me and then when I asked him nicely to move, he tried to start a fight with me (and then Brent, for sticking up for me). He was crazy. He was like... in his late 40's/early 50's with to children. I feel bad for those kids for having to live with that man every day.

Story #3!
This was on the same day as Mariana's Trench, but;

I SAW SOMEONE GET SET ON FIRE! AWWWEEESSSOMMMMMME!
It was completely professional, and intentional, so I hope people don't think I'm all for the random burnings of people.
Although...
nojk.

I ALSO SAW THE SWEETEST ROCK-MUSIC BASED ICE SHOW. COMPLETE WITH CRAZY-ASS ACROBATICS 'N SHIT! So dope.

Annnnd now for my final words in this long-ass entry...

So, pretty much anyone that knows me, know that I still possess my v-card. (They also know I say stupid shit like v-card.)
Anyways, the one person that didn't know was the boy. I know, he should. But he didn't/doesn't...
ANYWHO... long story short, I was stressin' about how to tell him about it, and about how I needed to take things slow, and yadda yadda, when he tells me that he would like to take things slow, and not rush things.

THANK YOU BABY JESUS!

We are having a real conversation about it tomorrow, but I'm so glad we're on the same page. SO. GLAD.

Anyways, too much typing, not enough getting ready for camping.
PCE.

We all go to sleep in the same place, and in the morning hope that we're all the same.

Hello.
I've been yelled at for not updating.
HERE GOES.

This past month has been quite difficult at work.
So difficult, that I had to call my DM, and ask her for help, because I just didn't know what to do.
Things are slowly getting better, and I'm closer to my promotion, which is pretty sweet-awesome.
If everything goes as planned, I will be relocated as an ASM to my new store by the end of August.
Crazy shit, yo.

And uh, love life stuff... Because that's cool.

I figure everyone in my circle of friends already know about the guy I'm dating.
He's pretty much awesome, and I get scared that it's all too good to be true. So I don't like talking about it much, so as to not jinx anything... Or come off like a crazy obsessed person.
But yeah, I'm really happy.

I'm sorry I don't elaborate more, but it's in the beginning stages, and if he just decides to stumble along to my blog, and reads something about how I'm sooooo happy, and just gaga over him, he might actually get a little weirded out.

Edit;
Disregard anything that was written here. ;-)

Anyways, in conclusion,
he's amazing, and I'm really lucky.

I will update more, with more exciting things. And when I'm angry about something, I'll write it down instantly, so that you guys can read a great angsty blog entry later. They're pretty much the best to read.

Bedtime for me though.