one tequila, two tequila, and three more!

Well, it is the actual date of my birth today.

And I partied wayyy too hard last night.

5 shots of tequila, plus an array of other shots and drinks.

I was so far gone that I couldn't even stay for Oh! Lenore's entire set.... but thats what they get for playing after midnight.


But I did other stuff, too.
I'm not a drunkard...

During the day we played laser tag, and got our asses kicked by 5 year olds, but it was awesome.

I am actually so glad that yesterday turned out amazing.

Probably one of the best birthdays I've ever had, hahaha

But ugh, too hungover to write more.

Olympic fever is setting in....

I cannot stop watching the olympics.

I should be sleeping right now, but instead, I am watching figure skating.
Where I would like to say "OMG YAY PATRICK CHAN IS SO GOING TO WIN!"
But he's not.
He already got bumped down to second, and there's still 4 more skaters of high caliber.

But I'm still extremely proud of him.

So... the big 2-0 is coming up.
Crap.

But I'm going out big.


Or.... big for me, since I never do anything for my birthdays.

Saturday will be full of shenanigans.

Srsly.

Laser tag, and then partyin' at Vern's Tavern watching Oh! Lenore play onstage with a bunch of other bands that I don't care about.

In a perfect world, I will meet my future husband that night.
He will be like "Wow, you look so cute in that dress, may I buy you a drink, and then not get all sleazy all over you?"

And I will be all *Swoon*

LOL

In reality, it will be me, chillin' with everyone, and then someone will do something to make me upset on my birthday, because it happens every year, and then I'll just want to go home.
Hahahaha

No, but really, I'm looking forward to this. For srs.


Innnnnnnn other news, my sister hates me.
Because I was mad at her.

Does this make sense?

"I hate Valetines Day."

Just like every other single person out there.

I sometimes wonder if I would start liking it one year just because I wasn't single. My guess is probably not. It's a weird holiday.

But, that does not mean I don't want flowers.
I freakin' want flowers.
Someone should freakin' call 1-800-flowers and get that shit delivered to me tomorrow.

And then again next sunday, when I will be crying, because I will have turned 20.
oh god, ew.

Also, I hate when mind games are played.
Why can't people just come out and say what they mean, instead of trying to find out what someone else feels by making some elaborate plan and not saying what they actually feel about the situation?

O, WAY 2 B CRYPTIC KAYLEE~

yeah, that's how I roll.


Anyways, I don't really have anything to write, so peace out.



ps; I love tiger lillies. ;-)

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

Is it too much to ask for just to be held once in a while? To be kissed? To not feel like the biggest reject ever?

I am beginning to think so.

I honestly don't even know what's fueling this retarded "i h8 bein' single" feeling I've been getting lately... But I would really appreciate it if it could just go away.
It's more annoying than anything.

I think it's probably just because so many people around me have someone, and I just want to remember what that's like... and feel that again.


In other news... I still hate Canada, and I want to leave.

And now it's bed time... I just had to have one more pathetic lonely girl rant.
Don't worry, these won't become a trend.... hopefully.

Now... who wants to snuggle? ;-)

Alright, Alright... it's been a month, I might as well update.

Well, my life is still one dismal, financial mess...
But I'm done working at the theatre, so there's one upside.

My computer is being abnormally slow lately, which makes me want to throw it against something hard, but I'm sure that will solve nothing.

Okay, so, whiney time....
Ready?!


I honestly feel super alone right now.
Like, not the "omg I need a guy in my life like rite now" kind of lonely... but the "yeah, I know I've got friends and all, but I just feel like I'm being left out all of the time, and I work too much to have a social life, or a love life, and I'm awkward and I really hope this isn't going to be my life for the rest of my life, and can I go back to England, PLEASE?!" kind of lonely.

I'm sure that makes sense to a lot of people.

I was looking at old England pictures just recently, because I miss it, and it wasn't a good idea.
It made me miss it like a thousand times more, and then kick myself because I can't afford to go.
I hate. my. life.

Okay, I don't.... but still.
I miss it.
It's like the longest homesickness spell ever, and it doesn't even make sense, since I starved, lost one of my closest friends, became socially awkward to the point where it took me 3 weeks to say hello to my housemates, lost all confidence in myself, cried almost every night, and never got a job.
It honestly doesn't make sense at all.
But, not everything in life makes sense, I guess.

I'm really excited about moving up in Starbucks... like, I don't know, sometimes I think "wow, Kaylee, do you really wanna be working for Starbucks for the rest of your life? Gee... what a go-getter you are..."
But then I really think about it, and, it's really not so bad. Like, the benefits are awesome, you get to meet so many new and interesting people, you are paid to socialize with your customers, and you get free beverages.
Health care is sweet too, and you get stock options.
So it wouldn't be such a bad place to be for the long haul.

But, meh, I dunno, we'll see what life brings.
Maybe sometime in the future, I can get transferred to England ;)

My 20th birthday is this month.
I am excited, yet I want to cry.
I'm saying goodbye to my teen years.
Soon I'll have to start acting responsible... and going to do adult-y things...
Yeah, who am I kidding... I can't be an adult, doing adult-y things.... I'll just be immature all my life.
I hope some guy finds that hot.
Also, I hope he's still okay with waiting until marriage for sex, even if we're like 35.
LOL

God, I pray that I will not be an old cat lady.
That would just suck.

I know... I just KNOW, I am going to look back on this entry like... a year from now.. hell, even 6 months from now, and think I was such an idiot for writing it.
But oh well.
I'm writing what's on my mind, I guess.

And everyone gets to read it, too.
And see what a complete tool I am.

It's 8:30... and I have to be up at 3 am.
I should probably sleep, but I feel like I should write more. I feel like there is so much to say.
But when I go to say it, my fingers freeze, and I don't know what to type.

Bleh... I don't know... ugh.

Somebody recommend me some good books. I've been reading really bad teen books for too long. Seriously, it embarrasses me, even when no one knows.
I need some good literature.
Something so good, I won't care if Bob McHotty sees me reading it on the train.

Holy crap, I have to stop talking about guys... I sound like a desperate weirdo.

But at least it's not visible to the world, and I don't jump the first attractive guy I see. I just think to myself "Oh boy, he is mighty fine. Too bad there would never be a chance of that happening in a million years..."
And then I move on.

Why am I writing this?
And better yet, why will I publish it. It's nonsense.

Nobody wants to read that, it's awkward and weird.

Sorry for putting you through that, readers.

I'm not actually as desperate as I come off.

I promise.

LOLOL.

Okay, seriously though... sorry.
I've made myself sound like a complete buffoon.

I think it's because I ran out of things to type, so I just went with an embarrassing subject, and kept going. hahahahaha

That's a sign that I need to sleep...
So I will.
And then in the morning, I'll wonder why I published such garbage, but still leave it up, because I get some sort of sick satisfaction out of other people reading my quirky and embarrassing thoughts.

Goodnight blogreaders